Today I am starting a blog to share about my experience living with fibromyalgia. Honestly, I feel like this blog will be an outlet that will help me keep my sanity. I have kept my condition sort of secret. I don't even like to claim that I have fibromyalgia. I have denied all disease and syndromes that I have been diagnosed with, choosing instead to live in denial. My mindset was if I don't claim it, it has no power even as I suffered the symptoms chronically. I have been living with fibromyalgia these past few years and its been hell. This strange invisible illness has scared the shit out of me so many times. Had me thinking I was dying. So many wonderful trips to the E.R. that always ended in them telling me I'm basically healthy. Oh, you should know one of my coping mechanisms is sarcasm. I'm being sarcastic. I met (got diagnosed with) fibromyalgia in 2016 after my 36th birthday. However, I think we met before because I've had some of the symptoms during my 20's and early 30's. My symptoms started with pain in my back and neck. I thought I had injured myself in yoga. I was waking up every day in so much pain. As soon as my feet hit the floor, pain. Sitting up had to happen slower because dizziness would happen if I went too fast. Or at normal speed. The pain just got worse and worse until my doctor sent me to physical therapy. That hurt more than it helped. So I gave up on going to the doctor for a while. I should mention blood tests were done but everything was normal except for the one instance they told me I had chronic inflammation. Fast forward to right before my actual diagnosis. I woke up the morning on or after my 36th birthday and felt new pains. I thought wow is this what sign you get that tells you you getting old. On top of my new normal of waking up every day in pain, I now had new pains. My joints in my hands, feet, and knees begin to hurt badly. I thought oh no I have Rheumatoid arthritis. Yes, I googled my symptoms and gave myself a diagnosis. I was a bit of a hypochondriac. I was really stressed because I was going through a lot emotionally during that time. I didn't want to go to the doctor. I lost faith in the medical system due to all the times I went feeling like death only for them to turn around and say nothing was wrong. BUT I scheduled an appointment. After a long 3 months of going back and forth to the doctors, I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia by a rheumatologist. Oddly, right after that things took a turn for the worse. I experienced all the strange symptoms of fibro. The hypersensitivity to sound was unbelievable. The sound hurt my skin. The lights were too bright. My skin hurt. I had random heat sensations in my legs. My hip sockets hurt so bad. The fatigue was scary. It felt like I had to flu. I tried amitriptyline and had to call 911. I had an adverse reaction to that medication. After that, I gave up on any meds offered after that. I tried to change my diet to plant-based but it was difficult to do because my digestive system was not working properly. I had so many food intolerances. Fast forward to now. I'm going through another flare. Yesterday I had to call 911 after experiencing nonstop vertigo, tingling legs, back of neck and head. I was so afraid of passing out and confused at the onset as I was just sitting on the couch eating a bowl of fruit for breakfast. When they checked me out and told me my blood pressure and blood sugar was perfect, I burst into tears. I was still feeling vertigo and tingling sensations from my toes traveling up both my legs above my knees, Tingling sensations traveled up the back of my neck and head. I was so anxious. So today is the day I said, Uncle. No more ignoring my symptoms and faking being ok. I have fibromyalgia and it sucks.
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